Feels So Close Pt. 02
I finally found some motivation. Amazing how music can spark a rush of creativity.
If you haven't read part one I suggest you do, but each part can stand on their own.
I decided to do with this story what you will read. Again, I wrote and edited this myself so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors.
Anyway, please enjoy part two.
It was about one in the morning and I was on the train ride home from a night of drinking with friends. Fiona was there but she didn't hang around for long before heading to the dance floor with some guy. My heart was hurting and honestly I just wanted to get drunk and forget everything.
She had distanced herself since our encounter and I didn't really want to see her grinding her ass into some guys dick. I wanted to see my hands on her ass, grabbing it and pulling her against me. Ugh. Fuck her, there is no way she doesn't know how I feel about her and then she goes and basically fucks some guy on the dance floor in front of me. Like she is showing me she doesn't feel the same way.
She used me, and it hurts. Now I'm on the train home, alone. I didn't want to drive drunk and so I'm cold, I'm tired, and my buzz is wearing off so my heartache is creeping back in. I was roughly six stops away from my stop and it was agonizingly slow.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run back to the club and snatch Fiona by her arm and yell at her. Tell her how much she made me feel. I wanted to tell her that she brought me up to cloud nine before throwing me against the ground and leaving me to bleed.
But I couldn't.
It's too late.
My heart stopped as I pretended not to hear her. Though I couldn't resist the urge to comment, hoping to get answers out of her.
"Shouldn't you be fucking some guy right now?"
She sighed. "I wasn't fucking any guys."
I laughed, otherwise staying silent.
"All I did was dance Brooke. If you're so hurt that dancing with someone pisses you off then there isn't anything I can do for you."
Her comments were sobering me up quickly as I responded without thinking. "If it was just dancing, and I wasn't in... I wasn't pissed off."
"Brooke, look, I'm sorry okay." She moved to sit down next to me and I stood up as she sat; looking down at her from above.
"Fi, that night was special to me. It confirmed so much, but the aftermath confirmed even more. I'm not trying to force anything onto you. You're straight and just wanted to make me feel better that day; I get it. We can forget it happened."
My voice began to break as I finished my peace and with that I got off of the train two stops too early and walked the rest of the way home.
I didn't care if someone mugged me, I didn't care if I died; I just didn't care anymore.
Vanessa had devastated my heart when we broke up but Fiona will leave me in ruins.
I took my headphones out and plugged them into my phone as I ignored missed texts from Fiona. Hitting play I listened to high tempo rock as I finished my walk home, trudging up the stairs to my apartment before opening the door.
As I closed the door I kicked my shoes off and was pushed against the door, lips coming in contact with mine my heart began to race. She took my arms and pushed them above my head and against the door as she pulled away from me pulling my shirt over my head and off.
"When I saw you at the club I wanted to rip your clothes off Brooke." Fiona said in a hoarse voice before pushing her lips against mine again in the dark.
I wanted to touch her badly but I knew how this game worked. She quickly tore my pants off and pushed her leg in between mine.
"Fiona," I hesitated.
Her body against mine was igniting flames of lust but in the back of my head I knew we should talk instead of me letting this happen.
With a heavy sigh I pushed her away.
"I can't just let you sit here and have your way with me just because you want to."
'You could' I thought quickly.
She took a step back and sighed. "Brooke there is nothing to talk about. What do you want me to say? I enjoyed being with you, I did but-"
"But you left my apartment as soon as I fell asleep, ignored my texts and calls and the first time I see you or hear from you in a week is at the club with our friends!" I reached down in the dark to find my shirt but I couldn't. "I don't understand why you would sleep with me.. why you would kiss me- look, I get it if you don't feel the same way, I can't force you to but I'm not some girl you can just come to for a quick fuck."
I let my words linger as I turned the light on and brushed past her to go to my room.
"You're not a quick fuck." She said loud enough for me to hear as I walked away. "Why can't it be okay if I don't know how I feel about all of this?" She says as I hear her voice getting closer.
"That's fine Fiona, but my feelings are in this too. I don't think that ignoring my calls and texts was called for. You know how I get when I'm left to wonder." I said as I turned to face her leaning against the frame of my bedroom door.
Her cheeks rosy pink from arousal and alcohol. Her eyes clouded with lust. She had her arms crossed starting deeply into my eyes from the short distance we were apart.
"Brooke you're my best friend. The only person I can trust. I need time to think, I don't want to lose you no matter what happens, okay? That's why I didn't answer your calls or respond to your texts, because I know you, and I know how you make me feel. But I can't act without thinking. And I'm sorry I did the other day, I don't regret it but I just-" She paused. "Wanted you to feel better." she said barely above a whisper.
'Why kiss me then?' I thought, but I didn't want to press the issue so I left it alone.
"It did kind of happen suddenly." I muttered as I moved to sit on my bed.
"Yeah-" She agreed as she slowly moved to sit next to me. "I'm sorry I caused you trouble by not answering you."
"I'm gonna take a shower, is anyone coming to pick you up tonight?"
"No, can I sleep here tonight, I'll call a ride in the morning." I felt her turn towards me as she asked.
"Fi, you have your own key, why would you have to ask to sleep here?"
She smiled and I got up to take my shower.
'Shouldn't she know how she feels about me?'
"I'm out did you want to-" I stopped talking realizing that Fiona was asleep.
'I guess she was too tired to stay awake for a shower.' Or anything for that matter, still where she was sitting, laid back sleep, legs off of the bed, arms draped across her stomach.
"Fiona." I said above a whisper, trying to wake her quietly as she has a bad temper when people wake her up. I walked the few steps to my bed before shaking her shoulder softly in my attempt to wake her up.
"Fiona. Wake up. You need to take a shower and clean all of that sweat off. Gosh." I spoke normally as I pinched my two fingers on my nose.
"Shut uuuppp." She said sleepily and it made me smile.
"Get up. You're not sleeping in my bed like that." I said as I grabbed her arm and pulled her to a sitting up position. "The water is already hot just take a shower."
I pulled her all the way up and escorted her to the bathroom.
"I left the water running all you have to do is get in and get out." I said as I closed the door on her.
Scrunching the towel in my hair as I went to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. I took a big gulp from it as I walked back to my bedroom. Plopping on the bed I scrolled through my phone.
'Wher r you gong?'
'Brooke youe being dramaticccc.'
'I don knw what to say to mak you fell better.'
All of Fiona's semi drunk texts were misspelled and it was honestly cute.
I know that it's hard for her, it must be. Having your best friend randomly telling you that she basically wants to marry you.
'God why did I say that?'
I hear a bang come from the bathroom followed by Fiona's laughing. "Hah-slippery" she says between laughs. She must have dropped the body wash or something.
I wish that I hadn't said anything about how I felt. I don't regret it but now I don't know what to do. But her body on mine.. The way she felt. My breathing slows as I remember what happened between us just recently.
The way her lips felt on mine. It was so intense, unlike anything I've had before. I didn't even get to really see her body, but her pale breast and light pink nipples. Her areolas slightly puffed out. She is soft and warm.
My breath slows and I feel a fire igniting in me. I look over to the bathroom door and it's still closed, the water still running. I bring my fingers up to my lips and touch them lightly as I recall where they had been. I run my hand down to my breast and grab it lightly. Whose hands had been here, touching me so passionately. Down my stomach and into my pyjama pants. How good it felt to be touched by her. Up to my neck, grabbing it forcefully. The way her fingers wrapped around my throat.
I heard the water stop and I yanked my hand away from my throat and went back to looking at my phone.
"You shouldn't text when drunk. You type so stupidly." I yelled and I heard her laugh at my joke as she opened the door. Her body loosely wrapped in one of my towels.
"Yeah well you shouldn't keep running away from me and I wouldn't have to do that.." she said without looking at me.
She went to my dresser and got a shirt and some shorts before walking back into the bathroom to put them on.
Moments later she came back out and sat next to me on 'her side' of my bed.
I felt her looking at me but I wasn't brave enough to look back.
"Are you okay?" she asked just above a whisper. "Your cheeks are red."
I felt them getting hotter as she pointed it out. "I'm.. Okay." I paused to think about what I wanted to say.
"You look-" she bagan but stopped.
'Horny.' I thought with a smile.
" desperate for something." she finished.
I wanted so badly to just look at her; but I was scared.
"What would I even be desperate for?" I asked, trying to sound condescending. But it came out quiet and afraid.
"You tell me." She replied just as quiet.
I took too long with my reply for it to come off the way I wanted it to.
"I really don't know what you're talking about."
"Then why haven't you looked at me?"
She was trying to be smart. The "A-ha! I got you." moment. But I wasn't gonna give in.
"Because I'm tired." I said as I quickly rolled on my side turning away from her.
I paused for a moment before turning the light on my bedside table off. Darkness surrounded us and I felt relieved.
Some time passed, it couldn't have been long, when I heard Fiona speak quietly.
"Go-.. night Brooke."
I didn't respond because if she knew I was awake still the darkness would boost her confidence.
'She acting weird anyway. Like she wants me to talk about my feelings towards her even though she wont accept them.' I paused my thoughts as Fiona rolled on the bed. As if she would know I was awake, silly. I waited a few moments after she stopped moving before I felt okay to think again.
'Well, I mean, it's not like it's abnormal. Friends always talk about their crushes together.' 'But she is my crush. How awkward is that?' I sighed heavily.
Fiona was rolling again and it made me wonder if she was struggling to fall asleep now.
"Brooke." She said barely above a whisper. I almost didn't hear her over my own breathing.
"Brooke." She said a bit louder this time.
' Gosh what does she want? Doesn't she know I'm sleeping?' 'But she doesn't know that. Your breathing is uneven. She probably knows you're awake.' 'No way. Shes just ch-mm-cking.' My eyes grew wide.
'Did she.. What was that? Why did she make that noise? And it was.. Close.'
I tried to concentrate on how close her weight on the bed was to me. I could feel her shin touching my calf but I hadn't noticed until now. She's basically right against me. Why is she so close to me when we're in a big bed?
Other than that one noise I didn't hear anything else. Maybe she just made the noise in her sleep. But what if she's not asleep? She was just awake saying my name.
I let the silence set in as I tried to free my brain of all of the thoughts running through my head.
'What is she doing?' I thought seriously.
If I had to be honest.. I was getting hot at the thought that maybe she was touching herself.
I moved my hand, slowly, the short distance from my stomach to the waist of my pyjama pants. What am I doing? It's not like she is gonna notice if I move slow, but still.
I could hear her breathing, labored and slow. She is trying to be quiet.
I sat there, staring into the darkness as I listened to her breathing. I could hear the quiet sounds of her fingers on her pussy and I felt my heartrate quickening.
Her sighs were getting louder and I felt my throat tightening as I slowly slipped my hand past my pants and panties. I swallowed to keep from moaning as I felt how wet I was from only hearing her behind me.
I ran my finger over my slit slowly, biting my lip at how good it felt with Fiona right behind me.
She moved one of her hands to rest on my waist as she scooted her chest closer to me until her breasts were pressed into my back but our legs were no longer touching. I wasn't complaining about the new point of contact though.
She bit my shoulder lightly over my shirt and I couldn't help but think that she must like it a little rough.
Her breath was hot and I wanted to turn around and kiss her but I didn't want to ruin what was happening. I was rubbing my pussy faster now because of the aggression from Fiona and I couldn't control myself.
I gasped as I pushed my finger into my own wetness and I felt Fiona stiffen. I was too afraid to speak, or even take my finger out.
There was a long pause and I thought she fell asleep.
"Keep going." She whispered in my ear.
Her hand tailed down and up under my shirt until she reached my breast and groped it with a sigh.
"Your skin is so soft."
I was so turned on I couldn't help but to slowly move my finger in and out of my pussy as Fiona touched me.
"You can't help but do what your body tells you to do, huh?"
"You.. told me to." I said quietly as I closed my eyes, enjoying the pleasure this situation ignited in my bones.
She laughed softly as she pulled my hair, craning my neck back so that I was facing her in the dark.
"I've never known you to be so obedient." She said as she kissed the corner of my lips.
"Oh god." I breathed as she pulled my hair.
I inserted another finger as I spread my legs apart, my fingers working my pussy deliciously.
"Fiona I- I can't, hngh ." I was struggling to even think.
"Let me then." She said before she let go of my hair and boob, moving to be on top of me.
I rolled onto my back as I wished the light was on so that I could see her face. I sat up a bit as she pulled my shirt over my head and off. It reminded me of her attack on me when I got home earlier.
She laid on top of me and began to kiss my neck as her hands cupped my face from below.
It was hard to finger myself with Fiona on me like this so I pulled them out and brought them up to my mouth to lick them clean. As I did that Fiona moved down to kiss my cleavage sliding her hands slowly over my breast and down my sides to grab my hips.
"Brooke, you are intoxicating." She said in between kisses.
Her telling me this while preparing to fuck me was making my head spin but there was nothing I could do as the need for her lips and tongue on my pussy was too strong to care about anything else.
She moved lower and was biting my abdomen all over, little nibbles of electricity running through my body. I was never one to moan or be loud durring sex but Fiona just did something to me.
I moved my hands to her hair and tried to push her head further down to speed up this agonizing foreplay but she wasn't having it. Her hands moved to hold my wrists down against my breast as she moved her head to kiss and bite all over my pelvis.
"You're so impatient, baby."
I moaned at the sound of her calling me baby, leaning my head back on the pillow.
"You have no idea what you're doing to me." I said in a hoarse voice.
"I think I do." She said as she lifted herself off of me so that she could pull my pants off of me. "Lift your butt."
I raised up and she pulled my pants past my waits, then lifted my legs up and pulled my pants straight off. If this wasn't so erotic I'd feel like a baby.
She moved back between my legs, using her hands to spread my knees apart. She got comfortable then placed one long lick along the slit of my pussy.
"Fi!" I moaned loudly. I grabbed a handful of her hair with one hand and my breast with the other wrapped her arms around my thighs and used her tongue to spread my lips apart. She was taking her time and I was losing my mind at how good her tongue felt.
"Fiona." I groaned as she flicked her tongue over my entrance, quiet slurping noises made my pussy quiver.
"I can't take it." I breathed out as she let go of one of my things.
Moments later she pushed a finger past her tongue and inside of me.
She mumbled something into my pussy but I couldn't tell what she said and I didn't care.
Her head was moving side to side and I started rocking my hips into her face as she sucked on my clit, pushing one finger in and out of me as fast as she could.
"I-close" I gasped as I sat up and wrapped my leg around her back as I let go of my breast to prop myself up.
"Fu- fuc- Fiona go- oh god!" I spit out as I began to cum.
I ground my hips harder trying to push my pussy harder against her. My body was on fire and I fell back with my pussy tight around her finger as she let go of my clit with her lips, sliding her body up mine as she fingered me slowly letting my orgasm pass.
She got face to face with me, our noses touching, lips barely touching as I breather hard against hers.
"Fiona.." I didn't know what to say. My heart was beating so fast and I honestly felt like crying the emotions I felt in this moment were so strong. "Can I kiss you?" I asked barely above a whisper but it was so loud in this silence.
She moved her lips the inch between ours and pressed them into mine. I wrapped my arms around her neck as we kissed passionately.
A tear fell from my eye and Fiona pulled away.
"Are you okay?"
"I- I just." My heart was beating out of my chest. "Fiona I love you."
We'd told each other I love you many times but we both knew this time was different.
She paused, pressing her forehead on mine.
"I love you too."